Once, When I Was Married... The First In A Series

Bee decided she wanted to stay in the car while I ran into the store. I left the keys with her so she could listen to the radio.

Just when I was checking out, in she walked. I can't really recall why. In any case, we went back out to the car, talking and laughing. I went to the driver's side, she to the other and we stood there for a second. Open up, I said.

Her...I don't have the keys.
Me...You don't have the keys?
Her...I don't have the keys.

I started going through my pockets. She looked into the car.

Her...They're in the car.
Me...Why did you leave them in the car?
Her...I don't know.
Me...OK, we'll call AAA and they'll open it.
Her...I don't have my card with me.
Me...You don't have your AAA card?
Her...I didn't have a chance to finish putting stuff in my new wallet before we left.

I told her we could call the police and they would open it. Something I knew, because I had locked my keys in the car before.

Back into the store we go. Sir, I say, our keys got locked in the car. Might we please use your phone to call the police. Sure, he says, no problem.

I'm waiting for them to answer the phone at the police department when this guy walks in with a woman trailing right behind him

Guy...My wife locked the keys in the car. Can we use your phone.
Store guy...Your keys are locked in the car?
Guy...Yeah, my wife locked the keys in the car.
Me...I'm on the phone with the police. Our keys are locked in the car.

So they answer the phone and I tell them our keys are locked in the car. Can they please come out and get it open? Sure, no problem.

Guy...I need to talk to them. My wife locked the keys in the car.
Me...You won't believe this, there's someone else here whose keys are locked in the car.
Guy comes around the counter and takes the phone...My wife locked the keys in the car.

Bee and I go back to the parking lot. It wasn't more than two minutes before the police car arrived.

The guy walks up to me in the parking lot.

Guy...Hey, do you know when the police coming?
Me...Didn't you talk to them?
Guy...Yeah. They said they were coming.
Me...That's what they told me.
Guy...My wife locked the keys in the car.

The woman, who trailed behind him coming back out of the store, stood silent. From the look on her face, I thought at any minute she was going to kill him.

Woman...I'm going back to the car

Me...Here come the police now.
Guy...Hey, do you mind if we go first?
Me...No, I don't think so.
Guy...My wife locked the keys in the car. And our baby is in there.
Me...Your wife locked the keys in the car with you baby in there?
Guy...Yeah, my wife locked the keys in the car. The baby's in there. And the car's running.
Me...The car's running?
Guy...Yeah.

The police officer walks over to us

Cop...Your keys are locked in the car?
Me...Yes, sir.
Guy...Yeah, my wife locked the keys in the car.
Cop...Your wife locked the keys in the car?
Guy...Yeah.
Cop...Is this your car?
Me...No, this is our car.
Cop...Both of you have your keys locked in the car?
Me...Yes, sir.
Guy...My wife locked the keys in the car. Our baby's in there. And the car's running.
Cop...The car's running?
Guy...Yeah, my wife locked the keys in the car.
Me...You should go get his car open. We'll wait.

When they were walking away I hear

Cop...How did this happen?
Guy...My wife locked the keys in the car.

Bee to me...If you ever do that I'll kill you.
I just laughed; and waited for the woman to start beating the guy about the head and neck while they got the car open that was running with the baby inside.